moving forward with happy things...

i have decided to stop letting things get to me and dwelling on them to the point of being depressed because i know it wont bother me a day or two from that point. i want things to progress for me and the only way that can happen is to be pro-active, and try to trust people. i know trust can't be forced, but i know i need to just let things bounce off me and not react to them. just let them go and disregard whatever bad feelings i may have about them. they are not what matters. actions are what matters. really. words without action are just empty.

so that is my new philosophy, or way of dealing with conflicts that may come up. i am not saying im going to become some repressed little girl, that i will just hold everything in. cuz come on... thats not who i am. :) the petty things though... those pesky little things that get to you, but rarely mean anything in the long-run... those types of feelings can just fuck off. i know what i want... and i know it will make me happy... and i know its worth it. (most of you probably have no idea what im talking about... but the person its meant for, if ya still read my rants, knows what its about... so hmpfff).

i feel pretty happy today. i feel like its gonna be a good day.

i leave for vegas in two days! we finally have everything booked! we are staying at circus circus one night (saturday). that should be fun. i plan on staying indoors as much as possible. i HATE HATE HATE that its going to be into the 110's over there. thats scorching hot. ugh. i know that vegas is the place to get drunk and go hog-wild, but im sticking to my new mellow to non-drinking nicole. i have very strong personal reasons for me cutting WAY back on drinking, and this vegas trip is going to be the ultimate test--especially since its a girls trip... which generally involves lots of partying. we shall see, but i have faith in myself, even if no one else does. so if you notice me going out less to bars... err and especially popscene (cuz i cant STAND that place unless im drunk)... its not that im avoiding people, its more of a way to avoid drinking. though... im down to go out and have a beer or two at a bar once in awhile. i just need for it not to be a routine thing. again... MODERATION.

its bowling night tonight. i finally rejoin my "team". they threatened to kick me off the team if i didnt show up tonite, and said they would make it an all-lesbian team. so i better show up. besides, can't beat 2 dollar bowling. i dont know if i even have two dollars, but hopefully berenice can loan it to me. im pathetic. last night i ate rice and popcorn (not together) for dinner. i seriously was scrounging around my kitchen looking for ANYTHING to eat. i have zero dollars until thursday.

oh. and i finished harry potter. :\

now playing: jimmy eat world- clarity (this cd makes me want to make-out!)