my tummy aches.

i think its a nervous kinda aches. i dont know why, but i cannot get rid of it.

and i think im sick again. my throat hurts to the point where it makes my ears, head, eyes and body ache. any remedies? more sleep. im completely exhausted. san jose to san francisco is wearing me down.

any way. lets talk about SANTA FUCKING BARBARA. oh god. that place. why do people wanna live there? sure they have some pretty beaches, the weather is great... but other than that, it blows. theirs a bunch of twinkie-bottled blondes, lame college students who have tons of money and dont work, and a bunch of rich old fucking republicans. no offense to anyone i know and like that wears these, but what's the deal w/ these RAINBOW FLIP FLOPS. i mean.. apparently *everyone* wears them. they cost in the 50/60 dollar range. i mean, hello people. they are flip flops! do you realize they dont even cover your entire foot. my friend said they are like the doc's of flip flops, but docs are shoes w/ a thick sole... these flip flops are thin and dont cover your feet!!!!!!! i dont know why, but this bothers me. maybe its because i heard about them too much. (no offense to laura or my sister or ben.... :) i still love you.)

so here's the breakdown of my trip. me and berenice drove down on friday nite and got there around 10 o'clock. we had a good drive, and it was nice to catch up and show forgiveness to someone who although hurt me pretty badly, in the end what does it matter? this is why forgiveness is a huge part of who i am, despite sometimes being naive about things and getting hurt--it can also be very rewarding. but any way--berence has been one of my long-time friends, who i have had a ton of fun memories with, lived with at one point--plus we've shared a lot of vulnerable times together. times where we were both going through a lot of bad shit and there's something that says that you dont cut a person out of your live forever who you've shared that with.

any way. so we get down to blonde-central and go over to laura's house. it was time to drink some beer and get ready to go out downtown. we get downtown and go into our first bar, but there's this shitty lesbian-girl-wanna be riot grrl stuff.. but they sucked. so we had a drink and left. then we get over to this more SB-booty bar (more downplayed... they can't booty it up like san jo! :) and we dance and drink and be merry. haha. and some black dudes were hitting on us and they totally loved berenice but she wouldnt dance with them. it turns out they were from san jose and went to piedmont. haha. then we leave the club, go back to the car and laura (who's sober), drives us home. then we get home and go to sleep. I WISH that's what happened!!!!!!!!!!

so laura turns down this one street downtown and BAM! sobriety check point. she freaks out and turns into this parking lot. cops come runnin' over RIGHT AWAY. they make us get outta the car. they start giving laura the drunk tests and they make me and berenice go stand on the street corner (we were pretty wasted at this point). so basically what happens is that laura gets her car towed, and they give her a ticket... although no arrests, which is kinda good. i had to call ben (sister's husband) to come and pick us up. so while we are waiting for laura... berenice feels a little rebelious and says "im going to throw my gum at this fucking cop car." and throws it. she hits the windshield and right as she threw it, another cop car drove by and saw it. DAMN. it turns around and berenice ends up getting a ticket for littering. and she had to scrape the gum off the car. ahaha. SO PETTY. oh well. it was pretty fucking funny. so then.. we finally go home, me and berenice get high and pass out. END OF NIGHT ONE.

day two... i gotta take laura to work (who's carless) by 9 am. SUCKS. so i drag myself outta bed, take her to work, and me and B stay at the house and watch tv and eat cookies. mmmmm. it held us over til laura came home and made us some bomb steak tacos. yummy! later we go and walk around downtown and look at all the rainbow flip flops. we get back and get ready to go out again. laura wants to hit up this club in ventura.. and i have to drive us squished in the front of my truck 40 miles to ventura. arrrg. ok. so we get there.. and its a gay club. not just a gay club, but a really fucking gay club. rainbows everywhere. video screens w/ some naked dudes. me and berenice tell laura she never said it was a gay club, but whatever. we dont care.

this is where i realized how much fun it really is to be sober in an environment where everyone is wasted. i totally loved it. (this is not sarcasm, i swear.) so first.. we are dancing downstairs and i go to sit down. then this chick moves her stool right up next to me and the guy she was with starts giving us some ugly version of a lap dance. then the chick starts rubbing my leg and im like, what the hell is going on? i have my legs crossed and the guy starts telling me to spread my legs, i told him no way. and he basically forced my legs open and started to do another ugly dance thing. finally berenice and laura see whats going on and come and save me. i think they were probably coked out or something. the dude then tells me, "oh i was just kidding." why do people always say that after they say something or do something that was forced. oh sorry i molested you, i was just kidding you know. i mean, i thought it was all pretty funny, especially cuz they were wasted and thought it was hilarious or sexy but it was really just stupid and gross--okay and kinda funny.

then later on, i escaped outside and was talking to nate when some dude came and sat next to me and tried to join in on my conversation. he looked sad so after i got off the phone i talked to him. his name was andrew and he was upset cuz his ex-boyfriend who he drove 2 hours to see, won't hook up with him. (i love gay males... always be hookin' up with their so-called ex's.) any way, he was feeling all hurt and despite all the men grabbing on him, he only wanted his little blonde surfer/preppie lookin' guy. haha. so he hung out with us for a bit. he told me all about his problems. is there something about me that says "counselor" on my forehead? cuz this happens A LOT!

laura kept trying to get me drunk all night long, apparently forgetting the mess we got in the previous nite. she was completely wasted and having a good time. later some guy started ranting to me while i was waiting in line for the bathroom about how a straight friend of his said he was wearing a rainbow shirt (it was a white long-sleeved with four colored stripes on the upper arm). he was going on and on about how it wasnt a rainbow and how straight people are so stupid and this and that. he asked me if it looked like a rainbow, i said, "no, it has black in it, and its only four colors." and he looked satisfied and continued to rant about how straight people are retarded. so i said, "im straight". and he said, "oh. well at least you are an educated straight person." i found this hilarious. then some other chick put her arm around me and asked if this guy was bothering me, but i was totally enjoying the bathroom-line-waiting entertainment, and it was totally funny and i told her. so me and the dude introduced ourselves and she kept trying to get rid of him so he tried to introduce himself to her and held out his hand and she REFUSED to shake it and just said.. "no. no. no. i dont bother meeting people. im not interested." he looked totally dejected and that chick was a fucking bitch-whore.

so basically the rest of the nite was more of the same. dancing. laura drinking. berenice drinking. dancing. and weird run-ins with people. it was fun. i drove us home and laura (again), threw up outside my moving truck. i think a speck hit me. it was nasty. i need to wash my truck.

day three... lazy again. ate more cookies. the chocolate chip baked cookies from albertsons are AMAZING!!!!!!!! we all met up at rustys pizza for my traditional lunch with my sister and ben. the pizza is usually my hangover lunch, but since i was designated dave, it was laura's turn to be all barfy. we go back to the house and watch more tv. then we go over to this super bowl party that one of laura's co-workers was having. they had like four tv's on in the house, and two of them were right next to eachother. we dont give a shit about the game (or the lame FCC-pussywhipped commercials), so we get some beer and i ate some of the most amazing steak ever. man. i was pigging out. plus its not like any of the twinkie-blondes were eating. so we chill for awhile, b and laura get high, then we get outta there and pack and go home.

i got home around 2 am. and thats my trip. best stories ever. :P i maintain that santa barbara is incredibly lame.. though i do like having an escape and it was nice to get away for the weekend. sorry if this post is too long, but its not like im forcing you to read it.